Dark Gene

No, not Gene the name, gene as in genetics, as in nature vs. nurture.

There had been a nagging feeling for years that I was fighting depression, or at least a depressive tendency. It seemed I was always fighting to present a positive, optimistic face. Not only to the world, but to myself. That is hard, hard work ... especially when you grow up in a millieu where anything but sunny-side-up optimism is proof that there's something wrong with you as a person ... as a being.

It all came to a head many ago when personal crisis opened the gate to full-blown, clinical depression, calling it from the shadows of dysthymia. Enter Zoloft, which was a big part of saving my life. Talking with my support team, researching the subject, I learned that duh, it's the brain chemistry, stupid. All the "it's all in your head" crowd that wants you to tough it out, control that which is uncontrollable through pure grit, are missing the point.

I should have known.

No, it's (probably) not all brain chemistry, but that is a big component and if you don't address that, you're stuck.